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One of the things I tell people I am meeting for the first time is that I have a ton of issues. Despite it seeming that I am trying to scare them off, it is not the case. I just want us to start on a good footing. If this declaration is good enough reason for that individual to not want to get to know me any better, then I suppose it saves us both from wasting our time. Or perhaps not.

It seems to me that sooner or later one realizes that one is just really full of oneself. For instance, on what basis do we judge our friends and others? I believe we are ourselves, often, the perfect model by which those who we associate with must reflect.  Some of us do understand that others are good the way they are, despite the fact that they annoy the heck out us with their foolish habits of wearing mismatching socks. We know that there are people out there who actually love them for the same reason that we want to dig an early grave for them. We tolerate them, nonetheless, because we love their great listening skills. This is a good relationship. We are able to be all that we are with them, as they are with us.

It is a cliche that the world does not love us; just about a handful of the people in it do and would. We have heard this too many times, we have repeated it to ourselves, we have told it to our friends. And yet, somehow, we find ourselves trying to convince ourselves that when a particular someone––whom, due to a few confusions in our chests and minds, have deemed special––does not return our feelings, it is not because they are wrong for us but because there is something wrong with us. Hence, we must become perfect for these people. How is it so? It is even more curious that this way of reasoning also affect people with high self-confidence.

Why do we suffer these people who think themselves better than us, and go insane by adopting that despicable behavior of trying to become worthy of them? It seems to me that even when one has immense respect for this individual, one must still remember that they are B whereas one is A. That we are allergic to garlic and they are allergic to onions. Sometimes one is unable to see the brainwash snaking upon one until one is being transformed into its puppet. No matter what, when this realization dawns on one, it seems the only thing to do is to act in whatever way we can to resist it. It is unhealthy, and never the thing to become a ‘thing’ that only aims to please another. Especially one who is frozen in a perpetual unimpressed state, even with themselves; who does not know what they want, and who goes out of their way to make others feel inferior because they do not really think themselves good enough.