On Monday, a classmate asked if I were an MFA student. I get this a lot. I didn’t tell her about how I applied to Brooklyn College’s MFA program and got into the MA program instead. However, waiting for the train back to my missed stop on Tuesday (I was reading on the train and missed my stop so I had to double back) I found myself thinking that it was incredible that I got into an MA program. I wouldn’t have thought I stood a chance because I am better at creative writing than I am at research papers.

It didn’t take very long after my enrollment, for the realization that I didn’t enjoy writing research papers to find me. But I have gotten much better at writing papers. My discipline in doing so has immensely improved. I really enjoyed the last research paper I wrote on Alain LeRoy Locke’s The New Negro. I felt very proud that I didn’t force poetic language into a paper which did not want any——no drama. I stuck to the point——as best as I could——and didn’t go about in circles trying to paint images and emotions as I was fond to do. The wonderful thing is, I have noticed my language is flowing more smoothly now than it did in college.

The knowledge that I am happy, now, to not have gotten into the MFA program (though I still plan to pursue one or two someday) is shocking. I am happy to be practicing prose, to be forced to write research papers, to let everyone know that I am an MA student. Even though I am still terrible at spelling, terrible at remembering facts. Still can’t seem to remember words and still terrible at learning new ones, I am glad for the experience.

This semester, I plan on working on how to speak better in class (and outside of class). How to express my thoughts without the usual hoops I create in the effort (and how to listen more instead of waiting impatiently to jump in with my oh soooo important thoughts). The plan is to take a few seconds to think about what I am going to say before I start spurting words all over the place!
—
Jane