[via]

In high school, I was part of everything––my name was. I registered for many, many clubs–– just never showed up.

In college, I didn’t only join a ton of clubs, I showed up a lot. Even when I was so uncomfortable and didn’t want to be there. For instance, the first thing I joined was the school newspaper. I wanted to be like Elizabeth Wakefield from Sweet Valley High. Don’t ask. I soon realized that my mates at the newspaper typed like crazy, and they like knew stuff that I hadn’t even smelled.

While it took me a minute to search for letters on the keyboard to type a word, they would be on their third paragraph or so. Man. I was so shy and so embarrassed. I didn’t know how to use Photoshop or inDesign back then, I was always on the verge of tears since I was a ‘Layout Designer.’ When I couldn’t torture myself anymore I disappeared. I did stay for two semesters, though.

The literary club I tried to join in Grad school brought back memories of my experience with my college newspaper. It was like there is this language and everyone in our little group understood but me. I wanted to say “Wait, Wait, What? Huh?” Then I thought man! Maybe grad school will be where I don’t bother. My excuse is Brooklyn is too far away from Queens. The truth is I’m sadly not very interested.

Happy Thursday
—
Jane