Grad School Journal: Nonchalant

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Very quiet is what I’ve been these past two weeks. In this place where everything is. . . I don’t know. I haven’t been dramatic––as I can be very much so when I am excited. I haven’t been depressed. I know that feeling. I’ve just been quiet.

Like every thing got muted and I’ve just been floating through time. The spell started to break yesterday. I think it had something to do with the rain.

Today, I heard myself talk in my classes and I felt there was something wrong. I realized, as I walked home after school, that there wasn’t anything wrong. It’s just been a while since I heard myself talk for any great length. It’s been a while since I tried to explain anything to anyone verbally.

These past few days, I’ve been getting my head to shake in all sorts of directions as a form of communication; monosyllabic words have been my friend.

School is almost over. Next week I will submit a draft for one class. Next two weeks I will submit my final paper for that same class, and write a final for another. Then I will submit a final paper on the 30th for that other class. It’s been some semester. Very good classes. I am going to remember loads.

Jane

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