A little too often, I have heard some say that the days start to feel the same. I am scared of this; of
everything feeling the same; of accepting everything as is; of becoming just a habit, a familiar pattern, or an image that always looks the same, feels the same.

So I am letting certain things go. Even things that I still love but which aren’t exactly healthy. I am letting go of certain ways of looking at things, too. I am not sure this is a good idea, but I suppose I owe it to myself to find out. My relationship with people is also changing. I feel that I am becoming more selfish. I don’t just wish to be the only one who talks, I want the honor to hear your thoughts, too. I don’t wish to be the only one with the pom-poms cheering you on, I want you to wave your hands, however you like it, when I need a bit of motivation.

This used to not matter to me. I had often felt that I didn’t need much encouragement. When I desired to do something, I often find the motivation needed in natural places of beauty. And it was enough until I met people who had a way of popping out of the blue to chant my name. Reaching out to share the sweet, the sour, and the bitter. And in so doing giving me stamps to mail them back the same without feeling exposed, nor with the need to censor. Now I desire this. The need to receive, too. The need to be a friend to you, the need for you to trust me with your battles, and for you to wish me to trust you with mine.

My values on friendship is evolving and I have a different answer for that voice that once said; “It’s easier for you to do these things.” It is never easy to share oneself with others. We learn to do so when we learn to tame our pride, for pride is a wild, wild beast.