It’s been more than three months since I moved countries, or as I love to remind myself, “moved continents.” But every now and then the fact that I am really in Japan brings me an intense, although momentarily, sense of awe. Oh, I never forget for a second that I am in Japan, though. My surroundings and those I associate with on a daily basis make it difficult to forget. I am getting used to the differences in lifestyle of living here in Japan: I now expect to press a button to open my toilet seat and I felt a little upset when a grocery store cashier, who was probably not Japanese, placed my groceries in my basket not as thoughtfully as I had gotten used to. Of course, in New York City, specifically, at Aldi’s where a similar cashier system operated, my groceries had been packed similarly to the recent experience I had, and it had never bothered me for a second.
There have been several cultural shocks, though: like the fact that my high school students, especially the girls, are always combing their hair and staring at themselves in pocket mirrors. Then I noticed that no one would tell you if anything was askew with your face or clothes. People will look at you, talk to you, and you will have something weird on your face and no one will mention it. So, walking around with a comb and mirror is actually wise if you don’t want to end up looking like a fool unintentionally. My dilemma here is should I do as it is suggested one does when one is in Rome, or should I do what I have usually done and what I feel is kind, tell the person they might want to get the snort out of their nose?
Another culture shock that I am now getting used to is the loud talking in the office and noisy walking of my colleagues. Of course, at first, I wondered, why is everyone’s conversations so loud? But based on observation I wonder if it is the same (assumed) reason that some Japanese people might never touch a found item? That is, being aware of other eyes, and always seeming to need to act appropriately, picking up a found item, even to bring to the police station or a lost and found station, might be misinterpreted by others as stealing. Thus, the item is left alone for the right people to deal with. The same way, in the office, people talk loudly enough for almost the whole office to hear as if to say, we are not talking about you, we are not having an improper conversation, it is not a secret what we are sharing, so anyone can join in if they want to. And the loud walking seems to say, I don’t want to surprise you or make you feel I am sneaking up on you, so I am walking loudly to warn you of my approach. I can’t bring myself to talk and laugh loudly but I have started walking loudly because I really don’t want to startle anyone by surprising them with my presence. I have startled my colleagues a couple of times with my quiet movement and the experience had been unpleasant. I felt I ought to apologize for coming in quietly, although I have always been proud of my ability to move so quietly.
But there is another culture shock that amuses me: you get gossiped about right in your face in loud whispers! What does that even mean? Is it assumed that I possibly couldn’t understand or do they want me to know exactly how they feel about me and are in fact actually talking to me but pretending to be talking about me? I really can’t interpret this one. My students will often giggle calling me “kawaii” in loud whispers, and every now and then I will encounter a mean student who after greeting me politely might say something insulting like “baka” in a loud whisper. In both situations, I always pretend lack of hearing, of course.
On current matters, Christmas is coming and I have cut some paper snow for my living room and my seating area at work. It is a little strange that I haven’t felt the “Christmas energy.” I usually start being enveloped in it right after Thanksgiving. It is even weirder that people work on Christmas day in my city and if I hadn’t taken the week of, I feel so lucky that I am able to do so, I would have had to go to work on Christmas Day! For a second, I was curious about how it would feel like to work on Christmas Day and was considering doing things “ the Japanese way” but at the end of the day, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I think it would feel blasphemous.
– – –
J. A. O
